Dating younger people
A month or so ago, I stopped seeing a much younger guy.
Because he's only 23, I went into it without any expectations.
But, ironically, through choosing to get involved with yet another "inappropriate" guy, I came full circle back to my heart.
It made me realize that while many people choose to shut down and close their hearts forever rather than feel pain again, I'm ready to not only open mine and share it with someone once more, but to also make better choices in I'm going to share it with.
My energy wasn't spent worrying about whether it was going to go anywhere and when/if it was going to end. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it. We become so caught up in the of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him.
When there's no pressure on it, you can simply spend your time enjoying each other, getting to know each other and allowing it to unfold naturally. I didn't follow any "rules;" I said exactly what I felt like saying (in fact, I was incredibly honest and straightforward), and did exactly what I felt like doing.
I am definitely carrying this with me as I move forward in my dating life.
Because the truth is, you can't build an authentic relationship if you're not authentically yourself.
I have learned from these things that the only way -- I now believe -- to build a genuine relationship is to be in the moment and to be fully ourselves, without the constant fear about where it's going to go or if it's going to end.
Many people have blocks around emotional intimacy and commitment and are literally just not capable of it...
and, again, that honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn't matter how intense and magical the connection between the two of you is -- and you could be the most amazing, sexiest, coolest, smartest, funniest woman alive (and he may tell you that, and honestly mean it, but still not be able to show up for you the way you want) -- you can't do anything to change another person's emotional, mental or physical availability.
Dating this much younger man made me see that I'm ready and open for something real again.